With the mission accomplished of Operation Liberation: VenUSA-la, President Trump is set to spread his unique brand of freedom through occupation to six more countries, according to retired General T.B. Gentes.
Gentes, who previously leaked the Top Secret US invasion (weekend—ed) plans of Canada, is sharing his insider info in this exclusive that you’ll only read in America’s Number One Source of Newstainment, GWU!
The former five-star general tells GWU! that Trump was so pleased with the tactical takedown of drug thug playboy dictator Nicolás Maduro and the Venezuelan people’s adoration for his actions that he wants to continue to shoot for freedom in more failed nation-states.
Not Sorry, Canada!
“The action of a Canadian invasion would primarily be driven by a US desire for resource security,” explains the General who once spent his entire weekend leave drinking Caribou and partying in Trois-Rivière with three Quebec-based Simons catalogue models.
Canada holds the world’s third-largest oil reserves, immense fresh water supplies, and vast tracts of fertile land and timber. Our Top General explains that in an almost certain dystopian/zionist future of severe scarcity, these resources could be seen as existential necessities to win both World War III and its franchise follow-ups, World Wars IV and V.
“We have a population that is growing. And I don’t just mean in numbers. I mean in size. Why, my 18-year-old granddaughter is built like a hippo, and she just keeps eating like her ass is a family of four! Trump also has fat grandchildren, and I’m certain that like me, he lies awake at night dreading a Mad Max scenario where his chubster heirs have empty tummies.”
The General points out to GWU! that strategically, controlling the entire North American landmass by making Canada the 51st state would eliminate any perceived northern flank vulnerability, creating a single, contiguous fortress state.
“Historically, the idea is not without precedent; the Continental Army invaded Quebec in 1775 (was it for the poutine—ed). Of course, any such action now would shatter the world’s longest undefended border, annihilate NATO, and be an act of political and economic self-immolation. But this is Trump we’re talking about.”
The All-American military man explains that Trump hates that Canada’s political structure is similar to Venezuela’s rule by decree. Trump has quietly ordered the DOJ to run an off-the-books investigation into Dictator Trudeau’s successor, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, a high-finance hedge fund business banker with ties to pedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
“Trump has labeled old Jeffrey as a very bad man who he didn’t really know and whose island he totally, totally never visited,” defends Gentes, who only visited Little Saint James when his military plane needed emergency refueling. “It was a week I’ll never forget or admit to.”
“Everyone at the Pentagon knows that the President can’t stand how much corruption and sleaze Carney can get away with, while Trump is constantly under attack by the Democrats and the press. He’s basically jealous that Carney has total control of the Canadian economy and media.”
Greenland Acres Is The Place To Be
GWU!‘s General says that while a Trump-led invasion/liberation of Canada is both pragmatic and personal, Greenland would be motivated by starkly different factors than an “Operation Beaver Spread” scenario.
“Trump spent his first few days in office educating the American people and media about the massive island, Greenland, that sits in the North Atlantic Ocean,” instructs the General, who once spent an AWOL weekend Eskimo kissing with a Greenlandic stripper at Club Igloo. “Up until then, most Americans assumed Greenland was just a weird glitch on their Google Maps app.”
He goes on to say that the Danish territory of Greenland is believed to hold vast deposits of rare earth elements and other critical minerals essential for modern technology and defense. Securing these would be a massive blow to global competitors and a boon for U.S. supply chain independence.
“The island would also create a military-style nest to defend against Russian and Iranian drone attacks, which would likely be aimed directly at Club Mar-a-Lago.”
No Kings in Denmark
Denmark is no stranger to invasions. The Germans were the most recent to conquer the Kingdom of Denmark in 1940, but in 2026, Trump will go from Prince of Denmark to King, according to Gentes, who once contracted an angry case of North Sea herpes while being stationed in Vordingborg.
“Control of these waterways would grant the U.S. Navy the ability to bottle up or facilitate passage between the Baltic Sea and the North Atlantic, a decisive lever over Russian drone maritime power in the Baltic region. Trump will for sure be able to stop the Russian drone onslaught headed for his Mar-a-Lago compound.”
The GWU! General says that a lesser motive would be to command the Danish bakeries. “His fat grandchildren would gobble up every sweet in sight faster than fatty AOC. Think Hansel and Gretel meet fat Americans who shop at Forever 21.”
Gentes pontificates that Denmark is already exposed, “Aside from being a socialist shithole, overrun with migrants who now make up 16 percent of the population of just 6 million, the main rationale would be to secure and command the Danish straits (the Øresund, Great Belt, and Little Belt).
“Pretty boring stuff, right? This is Denmark we’re talking about, though. Did I mention they’re socialists?”
The Big Beautiful Burrito
There’s a salsa of truth in Trump’s disdain for Mexico. He spent millions building a wall during his first term, and, during his second term, he renamed the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, although the crooked legacy media and Google Maps refuse to acknowledge the change.
“Mexico would be a key point of defense for the USA against Chinese drones attacking club Mar-a-Lago,” adds the taco-munching General.
“They possess significant proven reserves of oil and natural gas, along with strategic mineral deposits like lithium and copper, which are critical for modern technology and energy independence. Added to that, its location and mountainous terrain make it a perfect location to defend against pesky drone and WWIII robot attacks.”
The General goes on to explain that this Third-World country would also be an ideal investment for Trump’s obese grandchildren, to boot, as it hosts loads of all-you-can-eat options at the many Mayan Riviera resorts, including Italian, Indian, and American food options.
A second, more volatile motivator would be border and immigration control, continues the Margarita-loving General.
“Millions from South America are using Mexico as a toll-free express highway to the US of A,” says the man of war who has spent more time in a Tijuana brothel than ICE agents at Home Depot.
“It’s gotten so bad that even the typically laid-back hombres are complaining because it’s brought unwanted heat on their wall-climbing antics.”
Colombia is just one of those countries whose main export is illegal immigrants. Trump has publicly mentioned that he might be saying hello to his little friends in the cocaine filled nation, courtesy of the U.S. Air Force.
Trump Learing at Somalia
When YouTube influencer Nick Shirley exposed the billion-dollar Somalian fraud scam in Minnesota, Trump saw an opportunity for global domination. “Surely, he can’t be serious?” exclaims the General who divorced his first wife after he leared that she called him Shirley. “Trump has described Somalia as a ‘shithole’ country and somewhere that he would never go, and now he wants to rule it!”
The General goes on to say that Trump has told his cabinet to begin exploring justifiable reasons to take over the easternmost country in continental Africa. “Perhaps,” speculates the General, “Somalia would be good to protect against Mar-a-Lago drone attacks and also offer some shipping opportunities.”
Despite Trump not keen on feeding his fat grandchildren African cuisine, he did notice that Somalia’s GDP is roughly the same amount as the money that has been siphoned out of America in the now infamous and ongoing child care scam.
The General closes his communique with GWU! with this bombshell quote that his source gathered when Trump explained to his most trusted advisors: “If we just take Somalia over, we’ll own their American day care centers and all the money they stole will be ours too. It’s a good deal for the U.S, really. One of the best deals, to be perfectly honest.”
