Monkey Business

Trudeau Calls Canadian Expats to Arms in Trade War Against America

Thousands of Canadian expats abandon U.S. homes, boycott American goods, and vow to stand with Trudeau in escalating trade battle—despite economists warning of dire consequences for Canada's economy.

Brewing Tariff Bitterness Spills into Canadian Cafes 

In a lame and predictable move that has captured the attention of coffee loving Canadian ‘patriot’ bandwagon jumpers, cafes in the northern socialist country...

Jihad Drift: From Boston to Mannheim

Fresh from his suspension on X, Toby P. Gelman is ripping the woke left mayor of Boston a new one. Will he still get a walk-on in Fast & Furious: Jihad Drift, though? 

Oprah and Whoopi’s Oscar Ego-Off Chews the Scenery

Was Oprah and Whoopi’s “tense” moment while honoring Quincy Jones less about celebrating a legend and more about celebrating themselves? I’m Clammy J. Byner,...

Let’s Play Oscar BINGO!

Chaos reigns as Anora and The Brutalist vie for glory. Will Timothée Chalamet triumph? Play GWU! Oscar Bingo for cringe speeches and wild surprises!

President Trump Cancels Toronto Pride

Trump's DEI policies, corporate sponsor withdrawals, financial crisis, Pride Toronto cuts, local artists, $300,000 shortfall, political pressure, community refocus, government bailout, LGBTQ+ celebration. #PrideTorontoCrisis #DEIUnderFire #CorporateSponsorExit #BackToPrideRoots

Women Lying About Vaccine Status to Win Over Based Bros.

Sandra & Debbie, vaccinated and single, lie about their vax status to date anti-vax men. Women like them are boosting dating sites like Unjected, with serious side effects!!!

Doctor Who Battles Cancellation as Villainous ‘Agenda’ Alienates Fans 

Doctor Who faces cancellation as woke storylines alienate fans, causing ratings to plummet. Critics blame gender politics, preachy tone, and poor leadership for the show’s decline. 

Joe Biden’s Hollyweird Post Presidency Plans 

Find out what development deals Biden is rumored to be negotiating in order to continue his criminal grifting and propagandizing as the new king of all media with our speculating gossip columnist to the stars, Clammy J. Byner.  

CDC Teaches Propaganda in American Classrooms

The CDC’s K-12 educational materials, including the graphic novel Operation Outbreak, are under fire for promoting fear, compliance, and vaccination while ignoring holistic health. 

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